It's bigger on the inside.
Fortuna stood in the room as two suits of armor came to life and marched toawrd her, passing swords mounted upon the walls. Elizair shouted “Back up!” to her, and she moved back toward us, but the suits of armor attacked her anyway. I quickly backed up and cast “bless” upon the whole party, Elizair zapped the armor with electricity, the kobold shot sizzling green arrows, and Munthrek charged the room. Of course, both suits attacked him.
Fortuna was close enough to hit the armor with her mace. I worked my way around behind Munthrek, who was looking a bit staggered, healed him, and continued around the outer edge of the room to Fortuna. Elizair kept casting - now shocking grasp - and the kobold Grlzick hit the same suit of armor with a green arrow, causing it to collapse! Munthrek continued to trade blows with the remaining armor, while Fortuna and I swiped at the backs of its knees with our maces.
Elizair walked over to look at the swords on the walls - and two of them came to life, flinging themselves at Elizair and me. Munthrek, staggering again, shouted at us all to “Get out!!” I decided to retreat forward, and threw myself at the trap door. It was unlocked, so I yanked it open, revealing a set of steps spiraling down into darkness. I yelled, “Come on, guys!” and headed in while the others finished off the suit of armor.
I had my everlasting torch out after the first turn, and the rest of the party soon followed me down toward a strange musical sound. Thumping, chimes, whistling, and then a flickering light! I put the torch away and we peeked around the corner. A massive, half-carved stone statue romped about the room, each step causing the lab equipment lining the walls to rattle and chime together. A weird glowing electrical ball floated in one corner, lighting the room - and a half-clothed body by the far wall.
As we watched, a distortion wave came off the sphere; a bolt of lightning struck and we could see a strange landscape inside! We drew back to talk over what we’d seen, and then Elizair and Fortuna walked out to try to talk to it. The statue didn’t answer, but it did advance across the room toward them, dragging an uncarved leg of granite along. Fortuna decided that it was slow and clumsy enough to evade, and dashed to one side toward the body on the floor. A chain unwound itself from the wall and snaked after her, trying to entangle her!
She got to the body but now glass flasks were flying off the shelves and smashing on and near her. I dashed through the crowd, narrowly missed by both the statue and the chain, and ended up next to her. I checked the human for signs of life - he just seemed to be unconscious. Elizair cast something at the statue and got hit in return, more flasks flew at us, and I pulled the human’s helmet off before casting a healing spell. He woke up!
Fortuna quickly told him we needed help - and was he Lord Zadrian? Before he could answer, the helmet in my hands gave a yank! It flew out of my hands and landed back on his head and down he went again! At this point, torches on the walls lit themselves and attacked us, too. Plus, the helmet would not come off, no matter how I pulled on it. I’m afraid I said a few things unworthy of a priestess of Pelor at that point.
Around the room I saw Elizair casting at the sphere, with no effect, while Munthrek fought the stone statue - and then got tangled up by the chains. Grlzick cast more of the green arrows at it, and then I saw that Fortuna had managed to wrestle the helmet off of the human’s head again and was trying to stuff it in her haversack! Between attacks from flying flasks and burning torches, I grabbed my own magical haversack and popped it over the helmet while she held it.
Now the human was able to stand up (and be attacked by a torch), while Fortuna drank a quick potion and asked him what we should do to stop the mayhem. The human looked around and said that we needed some of the “first spirit” - quicksilver! We had none with us, so someone would have to brave all the crazy rooms we’d passed through back to the main hall, and scoop up a sample to bring back.
Munthrek broke free of his chains, attacking the statue once more, while I healed myself a little and pulled out my mace. Fortuna tore off across the room, avoiding the immediate dangers, carrying one of the whole crystal globes to fill with quicksilver. The human was scouring the remaining flasks of the laboratory in vain, while I managed to “kill” a torch. We fought hard until Fortuna returned, with flying books and knives in tow! Oops.
I was using my sling to chip away at the statue when she got back to our corner of the room; Elizair was smashing a “caught” flask full of acid on it too. The human told us that the quicksilver had to hit the crystal at the top of the rotating sphere - easy with a mage hand spell - but everyone who could cast it had already used it up! Then, the human said that any amount would work. Fortuna and I quickly dipped our ammunition in the silver liquid and took aim.
Fortuna was hit by a flask as she steadied her shot - it broke, blurring her vision, but she tried anyway and her crossbolt flew wide of the mark. I carefully took aim, praying to Pelor, and my sling bullet cracked across the crystal an instant later. Ting! Vibrated across the room, shaking the whole house, causing glowing cracks to open in the cellar walls, and the sphere disappeared - along with the rest of the house!
Sunlight shone down from a clear blue sky above, and Elizair’s bird flew down to greet him with a dwarven phrase that made me blush to hear. Poor Lord Zadrian lost everything, except the contents of his cellar and the swords from the walls in the armor room (Munthrek had stashed them in case they were going to attack, too), plus the one formerly flying book that Fortuna had netted. I asked him about the helm in my haversack - it was a helm of sleep.
I wondered why it was trying to jump on his head, and he explained that he was trying to create an interdimensional web. Some entities came through and possessed various inanimate objects in his house. He tried to shut down the web, and they used his own helm against him! Now that the web was closed, he figured that it was safe to take the helm out, so I gingerly handed it back to him.
He thought that we’d been helped by his journal - the open tome surrounded by coffins. When we told him we’d avoided the thing like the plague, he wondered aloud whether we were heroes or fools! We also had to tell him that his stable was empty, and learned that the “servant” we saw in town was actually himself in disguise. Determined to be the hermit, indeed.
We then offered to escort him to town, and explained how his daughter had sent us. He declined, hoping to continue his work here. I had no idea how, but then, I know little about the capacities of wizards! Grlzick asked to stay as well, wishing to learn more about the interdimensional web. Zadrian agreed. We asked about how to prove to his daughter that he was (now) safe, and he found a pen and paper to write her a note, sealing it with his seal and handing over his signet ring.
We spent the night and set out refreshed in the morning. A quiet walk back to town and we were soon telling the tale to the Lady’s retainer, giving him the letter and the ring, and getting our money in return!