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Potatoes and Zombies, Oh, my

Charzth’s Journal

After we entered the town my wife and I walked to what looked like an inn. After brief consultation, we decided to eat and stay the night. Nosila and I sat in a corner booth. The food was good. The potatoes were fried. After a second helping of potatoes and a large mug of ale, I grew rather bored. My wife had begun a strange rambling about little ones. Definitely scared of the conversation, I decided to change the subject.

Eyeing a short little gnome female walking across the bar area, I decided to play a prank. I took one of my potato wedges and shot it across the room with the flat of my Kukri. Ubtao was feeling the mischief in me as my potato bounced squarely off of her forehead. I nearly bit my tongue off holding back the laughter.

Since no response was offered, I let fly another potato with the same results. This time the gnome actually started moving her hands and giggling. Right then, a six plus foot potato man was standing beside me and Nosila. Not to let the oppurtunity slip by, Nosila quickly sliced a large piece of him off and started to eat him.

Excited by this new form of dinner, I quickly threw a handful of salt on him and started to cut off one of his legs. It wiggled and fought back, but we subdued our new dinner treat. Just as we were to dig in, the potato man disappeared. Bringing a large round of laughter in the bar area. Then there were screams for help emanating from our newly filled bellies. While strange, this was hardly reason to be concerned. It wasn’t as if it was one of the war rituals and another tribesman’s spirit was loose in our bellies.

Sensing the gnome had something to do with our meal’s disappearance, we argued with her a while to bring him back. Though no avail. Growing tired of the games, we decided to try out this thing called a bed. After the arrival to our room we quickly undressed and dove headlong into these wonderfully soft things the servant had called sheets.

Having been a long day, I was weary beyond belief. Plus there was all of that rambling about little ones fresh in my mind . I remember how old my brother had gotten after the appearance of his first little one. Heck, then he just mumbled to himself and sulked a lot by the time the third one had arrived in his life.

I rolled over quickly and pretended I was asleep. This marriage thing was absolutely risky. She does smell awful good, though. So I rolled over and hugged Nosila as I truly fell asleep.

I awoke to a nude Nosila screaming and fighting a zombie who was trying to force himself through the doorway. Leaping out of the bed, bare to the world, I grabbed the zombie and forced him across the hallway and into the far wall. There were definitely cracking noises as the zombie’s body bounced back off the wall very hard.

Screams were everywhere. People in their nightclothes, fighting with the undead monsters that seemed to be everywhere. We made a good fighting team, Nosila and I. Quickly we handled the undead in our area and were helping out the other guests in the inn. All seemed to be rather amazed at our fighting skill. It was amazing how they stopped and stared as we fought with every foe.

Feeling a burst of uncontrol come over me, I chased an angry dwarf with an axe downstairs and out into the street. He was, of course, chasing more undead. By the time I was outside, I was absolutely berserk.

Grabbing a zombie by the throat I slammed him to the ground. Screaming in a rage-filled voice that even seemed to make the undead shudder and slow in their advance. I grabbed the zombie’s body I had just crushed on the ground and started bashing others to pieces with it.

A large group of town’s guards passed by, yelling that everyone was holing up in the temple till morning. We should follow, someone shouted. Fully beserked, I couldn’t have left if I tried. Blood boiled in my eyes and I yelled I would hold the lane so the others could escape.

The dwarf joined me with a look of glee in his eyes. My wife moaned and begged me to run. I just held my ground, and asked her to go get our gear. She slipped away rapidly to oblige me. I crushed a rather large zombie’s skull and noted that that one was for my wife.

As Nosila returned, the battle was turning grim. The dwarf and I were growing haggard and were extremely outnumbered. The extremely short person who had been helping us from behind with his arrows was trying his best, but his arrows weren’t doing enough damage to turn the tide.

She handed my Kukri and begged me to leave as she saw the blood running from my many wounds. I turned to tell her no, and saw a terrific gouge in her side running blood openly. With a quick thrust with my kukri I wheeled and pushed her away from the fray. I then swung one more time and ran for my gear.

After grabbing my gear, I seemed totally drained. It was hard to run. So I kept just ahead of the undead chasing us, and slowly donned my gear. Nosila did the same. Amazingly, after our gear was on, it seemed not as many people noticed us.

Dawn had arrived by the time we had retreated to the temple. The little archer guy had pelted them the whole way with arrows. The dwarf had attacked them when he could. I had reached into my pouch and hit them with several oil containers.

As we arrived at the temple, I hollered for them to hit the zombies with fire. When someone shot one of them with a burning arrow, the bunch of them lit up like a bonfire. After entering the temple, a couple of adepts healed our wounds. There was a quick and curt round of introductions, and then we took up a defensive position around the temple entrance.

As the dawn became the full light of day, the undead started to retreat. Shambling along as they went, I decided it was time for Nosila and I to have a little fun. Racing after the stragglers, we dropped several undead along the way, to what seemed to be a meeting point for them at the cemetery.

Here, a large circle had formed and a wild-eyed undead priest was screaming at some villagers that the undead had captured. He quickly grabbed one by the head. The villager screamed, and then died. By the time he had reached the second villager, all of the town guard had arrived as well as the other guests who me had met in the inn and temple.

Hearing the second one’s death scream sent us into action. Pulling up my Kukri, I charged into the throng of undead.

My eyes glazed wildly as the first one fell. Then I saw my wife run around the battle and attack the crazed cleric by herself. I thrust at a zombie and quickly charged after her. The dwarf was yelling as he ran directly into the zombies towards the evil cleric.

I cut a zombie nearly in half as he crumpled to the ground. My wife was standing over the lifeless body of the cleric.

Dropping to my knees in exhaustion, I watched in disbelief as a large green light shot out of the cleric’s mouth and flew off to the north. Laying my head to the ground, I heard many voices muttering that we should follow that light and destroy it before it came back to the village.

A soft hand reached down and helped me up. I gave Nosila a large bear hug after I stood, and reconfirmed she did smell very good. Taking her hand, I eyed up the gnome in the distance and hollered, “Hungry for some potatoes?”

Posted by Erik on September 18, 2004, 23:24 | Charzth’s Journal